


Office Space

by Enigel



Category: Doctor Who, Stargate Atlantis, Torchwood
Genre: Community: fandom_stocking, Crack, Crossover, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-01-09
Updated: 2009-01-09
Packaged: 2017-10-02 06:05:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Enigel/pseuds/Enigel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Written for marag's fandom_stocking, because I share her love of crack-addled crossovers.</p>
    </blockquote>





	Office Space

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Mara](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mara/gifts).



> Written for marag's fandom_stocking, because I share her love of crack-addled crossovers.

"Jack, this is crazy."

"Compared to what?"

"Ianto!"

"Now, kids, be nice to your new colleague. I want you to make Todd feel at home, even if his... dietary requirements are a bit odd."

"He feeds on life force, Jack. That's not 'odd', that's insanely dangerous."

"I've got plenty of life to give. He's an expert in all kinds of software, and we need one, Gwen. He's... less vulnerable than our previous expert, too."

"Gives 'will work for food' a whole new meaning."

"Ianto, stop joking about this! Martha, don't you have anything to say?"

"How did you find him, Jack?"

"An old contact of mine recommended him."

"Does that contact happen to be handsome, a flyboy and have funny hair?"

"...Maybe."

"Then I could think of better break-up presents, Jack..."

"Land mines, for example. Or a can of napalm."

"...but you're the boss. And I'll want to monitor both of you when you, um, deliver his first paycheck."

"Counting on it, Dr Jones."

"Martha, not you too! This is madness!"

"No, this is Torchwooooood!"

"_Ianto_!"

"..."

"So, when does he start?"

"Tomorrow, if all goes well."

"Just don't expect us to shake his hand."

"You'll love his sense of humour, Ianto, very similar to yours."

"Oh God, we're so screwed."


End file.
